Judges 6 – Balancing faith and doubt

“Gideon thanks God for the miracle of the dew”, painting by Maarten van Heemskerck

Then Gideon said to God, “If You will deliver Israel through me, as You have spoken, 37 behold, I will put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I will know that You will deliver Israel through me, as You have spoken.” 38 And it was so. When he arose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece, he drained the dew from the fleece, a bowl full of water.

39 Then Gideon said to God, “Do not let Your anger burn against me that I may speak once more; please let me make a test once more with the fleece, let it now be dry only on the fleece, and let there be dew on all the ground.” 40 God did so that night; for it was dry only on the fleece, and dew was on all the ground. – Judges 6:36-40 (NASB)

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It is hard to know exactly how to characterize Gideon’s behavior in this chapter. Is he being faithless, shrewd, cautious, unwilling? Is he testing God for his own benefit or for the benefit of others? I am not sure exactly how to read Gideon. But over and over again, God gives Gideon an instruction and Gideon either 1) tests the instruction or 2) follows the instruction but with extreme caution. The passage quoted above is just the last in a long series of Gideon testing God.

Gideon is certainly not boldly doing the work of the Lord. He is proceeding with caution and testing the Lord. Is Gideon acting properly or improperly? Are we to follow the leading of God or are we to test God?

Is there a universal application we can take away from this story? In a word: no.

There are times when I need to follow God’s leading and follow without question. There are times when I need test God’s leading and gain confirmation that it truly is the will of God.

As a parent there are times when my children need to follow my instruction with out question: there’s a fire, get out of the road, eat your green beans. There are also times when it is appropriate for my children to test my words and confirm that it is what I want them to do: when I say or they hear the wrong thing, when they have more information than I do, when their mom and I are not on the same page.

God acts in a similar way. As God’s child there are times when I need to obey and times for me to seek confirmation. Unfortunately, there is no rigid rule dictating which time is which and my communication with God is not always as direct as my communication with my children.

Doubt can be healthy (if we do not let it consume us). A healthy sense of doubt keeps us from being the crazy guy with a messiah complex. It is okay to doubt if God is speaking to you. However, you need to you use that doubt as motivation to confirm God’s leading. There is no shame in acting like Gideon and putting out a fleece. But do not become dependent upon the fleece. As we grow in our relationship with God we will become more confident, but there will always be a little bit of doubt.

Gideon confirmed the will of God, and then he followed the will of God. That seems like a pretty good plan. Do not let doubt render you actionless, but at the same time, do not assume that every thought that enters your head is the will of God. If you are uncomfortable with your doubt, lay down a fleece. But, as you grow in your relationship with God, be sure to learn how to act even if you have a little bit of doubt.

It may be that spiritual maturity is knowing how to balance faith and doubt.

Application:

  • Write down the thing God is calling you to do that scares you.
  • Write down the “fleece” you are going to lay out to test if it is God’s will.
    • Make it time specific and share it with a spiritual mentor.
  • Write down the one thing you are being called to do, but a little bit of doubt is holding you back. Do that thing this week.

Queries:

  • Can I have a strong faith in God and still doubt?
  • Am I able to balance my testing and trusting of God?
  • Do I tend to act too hastily or too slowly? Does God want me to change?

Judges 5 – The Song of Deborah

Then Deborah and Barak the son of Abinoam sang on that day, saying, 2 “That the leaders led in Israel, That the people volunteered, Bless the LORD! 3 “Hear, O kings; give ear, O rulers! I– to the LORD, I will sing, I will sing praise to the LORD, the God of Israel. 4 “LORD, when You went out from Seir, When You marched from the field of Edom, The earth quaked, the heavens also dripped, Even the clouds dripped water. 5 “The mountains quaked at the presence of the LORD, This Sinai, at the presence of the LORD, the God of Israel.

6 “In the days of Shamgar the son of Anath, In the days of Jael, the highways were deserted, And travelers went by roundabout ways. 7 “The peasantry ceased, they ceased in Israel, Until I, Deborah, arose, Until I arose, a mother in Israel. 8 “New gods were chosen; Then war was in the gates. Not a shield or a spear was seen Among forty thousand in Israel. 9 “My heart goes out to the commanders of Israel, The volunteers among the people; Bless the LORD! 10 “You who ride on white donkeys, You who sit on rich carpets, And you who travel on the road– sing! 11 “At the sound of those who divide flocks among the watering places, There they shall recount the righteous deeds of the LORD, The righteous deeds for His peasantry in Israel. Then the people of the LORD went down to the gates. 12 “Awake, awake, Deborah; Awake, awake, sing a song! Arise, Barak, and take away your captives, O son of Abinoam. 13 “Then survivors came down to the nobles; The people of the LORD came down to me as warriors. 14 “From Ephraim those whose root is in Amalek came down, Following you, Benjamin, with your peoples; From Machir commanders came down, And from Zebulun those who wield the staff of office. 15 “And the princes of Issachar were with Deborah; As was Issachar, so was Barak; Into the valley they rushed at his heels; Among the divisions of Reuben There were great resolves of heart. 16 “Why did you sit among the sheepfolds, To hear the piping for the flocks? Among the divisions of Reuben There were great searchings of heart. 17 “Gilead remained across the Jordan; And why did Dan stay in ships? Asher sat at the seashore, And remained by its landings. 18 “Zebulun was a people who despised their lives even to death, And Naphtali also, on the high places of the field.

19 “The kings came and fought; Then fought the kings of Canaan At Taanach near the waters of Megiddo; They took no plunder in silver. 20 “The stars fought from heaven, From their courses they fought against Sisera. 21 “The torrent of Kishon swept them away, The ancient torrent, the torrent Kishon. O my soul, march on with strength. 22 “Then the horses’ hoofs beat From the dashing, the dashing of his valiant steeds. 23 ‘Curse Meroz,’ said the angel of the LORD, ‘Utterly curse its inhabitants; Because they did not come to the help of the LORD, To the help of the LORD against the warriors.’ 24 “Most blessed of women is Jael, The wife of Heber the Kenite; Most blessed is she of women in the tent. 25 “He asked for water and she gave him milk; In a magnificent bowl she brought him curds. 26 “She reached out her hand for the tent peg, And her right hand for the workmen’s hammer. Then she struck Sisera, she smashed his head; And she shattered and pierced his temple. 27 “Between her feet he bowed, he fell, he lay; Between her feet he bowed, he fell; Where he bowed, there he fell dead. 28 “Out of the window she looked and lamented, The mother of Sisera through the lattice, ‘Why does his chariot delay in coming? Why do the hoofbeats of his chariots tarry?’ 29 “Her wise princesses would answer her, Indeed she repeats her words to herself, 30 ‘Are they not finding, are they not dividing the spoil? A maiden, two maidens for every warrior; To Sisera a spoil of dyed work, A spoil of dyed work embroidered, Dyed work of double embroidery on the neck of the spoiler?’ 31 “Thus let all Your enemies perish, O LORD; But let those who love Him be like the rising of the sun in its might.” And the land was undisturbed for forty years. – (Judges 5:1-31 NASB)

Gustave Dore’s interpretation of the prophetess Deborah.

At the conclusion of the war, after Deborah has defeated the enemies of Israel, she and her general sing a song of victory, the spoils of war, and the death of their enemies. They sing of the deeds of Jael, the grief of a mother whose dead son will never come home, distributing captured maidens to the victorious warriors; and they sing a request that all enemies of God die.

This song celebrating the death of an enemy troubles me.

I was appalled at the celebratory tone that pervaded our society at the death of Osama bin Laden. On Facebook I posted Proverbs 24:17 “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles.” A Christian Facebook friend who had served in the military took offense and started quoting scripture back at me. His view, if I understood it correctly, was that violence is a necessity in order for Christ to be communicated to certain people groups. He firmly believed in “just war” and that the targeted killing of individuals was necessary and acceptable. He unfriended me on Facebook shortly thereafter.

I read the same Bible, and worship the same God as this man, but have come to a radically different conclusion. Violence is never the God honoring solution to a problem. My theological belief is that Christians are called to live at peace with one another and with the world around them. To live at peace is both to refrain from acts of violence, and to work toward removing the causes of violence in this world.

I believe that a violent reaction to violence only spawns more violence. We are called to share the Good News of Jesus to all the world. The Good News is that through Jesus we can be united with the will of God. I believe that violence is outside of the will of God.

The Deserter (1916) by Boardman Robinson.

How can I believe that violence is outside of God’s will when passages like Deborah’s Song are in the Bible? How can my former Facebook friend believe that violence is necessary when Jesus says, “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also…” (Matthew 5:39). There are no easy answers; we live in a tension. We live in a fallen world in which evil things happen. My view is that killing people is always evil, even if it may be justified. Lots of people do not like that and it is a hard to live out.

Regardless whether you are a pacifist or an advocate of “just war” there are parts of the Bible that we must all struggle with. Do we turn the other cheek, or do we go to war and celebrate our victories? We can not just ignore the difficult passages that do not line up with our theology. I am not always sure what to do with stories like the Song of Deborah. I will not brush it off as, “well, it was a different time, a different covenant, and a different people”; but, I also will not accept that God sanctions murder. Living out our faith is hard.

Application:

  • Write down three ways you contribute to violence in our world.
  • Write down three ways you can work to eliminate violence in our world.
  • Think of the last person about whom you had thoughts similar to those expressed in the Song of Deborah; take five minutes and pray for that person.

Queries:

  • How do you incorporate the song of Deborah into your understanding of God?
  • If you are a pacifist how does your theology interpret the celebratory nature of this song? If you are a just war advocate how do you respond to Jesus’ instruction to turn the other cheek?
  • Is violence ever Godly?

Malthus on misery and vice

Another paper from my undergrad days. I’m enjoying going back and reading them. Some are quite good, others are rubbish…I’ll try not to post the rubbish.

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Two types of logic exist in our world: inductive logic and deductive logic.  Inductive logic first creates a theory, and then tests that theory against the observable facts.  Deductive logic first gathers facts and then creates a theory to fit those facts.  Thomas Malthus produced one of the first major deductive works within the field of economics with his writing of An Essay on the Principles of Population.

Malthus looked out into the world and saw two things that he believed to be always true.  First, Malthus postulated that food is necessary to maintain human life.  Second, Malthus postulated that the “passion” between the sexes would remain at its current level.  It is almost impossible to argue with Malthus’ first postulate; his second postulate can be called into question in our modern age.  It could be said that while the “passion” has remained the same the consequences of that passion has been reduced with the proliferation of birth control.  However, for all intents and purposes this second postulate can be considered to have remained relatively the same.

Malthus then took as fact that food grows arithmetically while population grows geometrically.  Malthus concluded from these postulates, that what he called, misery and vice were unavoidable situations for people to experience.  Misery, according to Malthus is the argument that since populations grow geometrically and food supplies grow arithmetically a population will eventually run out of food.  Vice, according to Malthus, are the evil things that happen when food becomes scarce (i.e. prostitution, drinking, etc.).  Malthus argued that while Misery will always occur vice will normally follow but it is occasionally avoidable.

Malthus defined populations as always going through a six-step cycle.  (1) Population will increase without an equal increase in food production (arithmetic vs. geometric). (2) This causes the food to be divided up among a larger number of people.  (3) Wages then fall and the cost of provisions for a family increases.  (4) The decline of wages causes distress and discourages marriage because child raising has become much more difficult.  (5) Populations will stop increasing or even contract.  (6) Finally, due to the decrease in population and the opportunity for food production to catch up with the population, the workers’ condition will improve and society will begin to reproduce again.  This cycle will then repeat itself.  Malthus argued that this cycle can never be and has never been broken.

Bernardo de la Paz to Mannie: “This planet isn’t crowded; it is just mismanaged … and the unkindest thing you can do for a hungry man is to give him food. Read Malthus. It is never safe to laugh at Dr. Malthus; he always has the last laugh.”

Malthus’ cycle hinges on his concepts of misery and vice.  Misery and vice entering the picture in step four of Malthus cycle forces the population to begin declining.  Without misery and vice population would always be increasing.  Malthus theory of population is thus hinged on the idea of misery and vice forcing a population to restrict its growth were normally that population would not continue its expansion.

Malthus argued that population would always be checked.  It would either be positively checked by a limited food supply (as described above) or it would be preventatively checked by human foresight.  Malthus recognized that humans are the only species that can understand that their actions will have consequences; humans have the choice of creating a situation where their population will not increase.  If a mother knows that she can either watch her child starve or not have another child she will avoid becoming pregnant.  If a woman avoids pregnancy for this reason she has lessened the subsequent misery but her husband is likely to succumb to vice in the form of a prostitute to relieve his passion.

Malthus best sums up his views on misery and vice best near the end of chapter one of his work An Essay On the Principle of Population.  Malthus writes:

Necessity, that imperious all pervading law of nature, restrains them within the prescribed bounds. The race of plants and the race of animals shrink under this great restrictive law. And the race of man cannot, by any efforts of reason, escape from it. Among plants and animals its effects are waste of seed, sickness, and premature death. Among mankind, misery and vice. The former, misery, is an absolutely necessary consequence of it. Vice is a highly probable consequence, and we therefore see it abundantly prevail, but it ought not, perhaps, to be called an absolutely necessary consequence. The ordeal of virtue is to resist all temptation to evil.

This natural inequality of the two powers of population and of production in the earth, and that great law of our nature which must constantly keep their effects equal, form the great difficulty that to me appears insurmountable in the way to the perfectibility of society. All other arguments are of slight and subordinate consideration in comparison of this. I see no way by which man can escape from the weight of this law which pervades all animated nature. (p. 72)

Malthus’ concepts of misery and vice are key to understanding his theory of population growth; they are the crux about which his theory is built.  Misery and Vice are the observable facts that Malthus began with and they are they facts which Malthus built his theory around.

Judges 4 – Jael and the tent peg

Deborah said to Barak, “Arise! For this is the day in which the LORD has given Sisera into your hands; behold, the LORD has gone out before you.” So Barak went down from Mount Tabor with ten thousand men following him. 15 The LORD routed Sisera and all his chariots and all his army with the edge of the sword before Barak; and Sisera alighted from his chariot and fled away on foot. 16 But Barak pursued the chariots and the army as far as Harosheth-hagoyim, and all the army of Sisera fell by the edge of the sword; not even one was left.

17 Now Sisera fled away on foot to the tent of Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite, for there was peace between Jabin the king of Hazor and the house of Heber the Kenite. 18 Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said to him, “Turn aside, my master, turn aside to me! Do not be afraid.” And he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. 19 He said to her, “Please give me a little water to drink, for I am thirsty.” So she opened a bottle of milk and gave him a drink; then she covered him. 20 He said to her, “Stand in the doorway of the tent, and it shall be if anyone comes and inquires of you, and says, ‘Is there anyone here?’ that you shall say, ‘No.’”

21 But Jael, Heber’s wife, took a tent peg and seized a hammer in her hand, and went secretly to him and drove the peg into his temple, and it went through into the ground; for he was sound asleep and exhausted. So he died. 22 And behold, as Barak pursued Sisera, Jael came out to meet him and said to him, “Come, and I will show you the man whom you are seeking.” And he entered with her, and behold Sisera was lying dead with the tent peg in his temple. 23 So God subdued on that day Jabin the king of Canaan before the sons of Israel. (Judges 4:14-23 NASB)

Yael Killing Sisera, by Palma the Younger

This is another story I usually go to in youth group at Halloween. It has more of a “girl-power” element to it, and the teenage girls usually appreciate it; after they get over the whole spike to forehead thing.

Deborah is the Judge of Israel. The Judges were leaders who God had raised up to bring Israel back into a right relationship with God. There is a general theme in the book of Judges of each Judge having more and greater faults than the ones who came before. Deborah creates a problem in understanding this theme. It is difficult for a contemporary reader of Judges to pick up how this is true of Deborah. Deborah appears to be a wise leader who focuses on following the will of God. What was Deborah’s fault?

Well, Deborah was a woman.

The Israelites were a patriarchal society living in a region flooded with patriarchal societies. To be led by a woman would carry a social stigma that would be difficult for many within the nation of Israel to accept, and would encourage other nations to view Israel as being weak. There is an implied rebuke in her leadership that would resonate with a patriarchal society: “Look, you had to have a woman save you.”

The story of Jael amplifies this rebuke of Israel’s patriarchy. Deborah prophesied that the Lord would give Sisera into the hands of Israel. But this does not happen in battle; it does not happen through the power of warriors, or the strategy of men. Sisera is brought into the hands of Israel by another woman; and a foreigner at that. God used the trickery of Jael to accomplish what the army/men of Israel could not.

The contemporary take aways from this story have little to do with gender or patriarchy. Rather, the first take away is that God raises up leaders we would not expect. Sometimes the leader we need to follow is not the person who looks like a leader; the leader we need to follow is the person that God has established as leader. It can be very difficult to follow someone who you believe is not worthy of leadership; but, at some point in your life, that is exactly what God will ask you to do. Let God choose your leaders.

The second take away is that God uses everyday people to fulfill prophecy. God can use anyone God chooses to fulfill God’s plans. God used Jael, a foreign woman, to destroy an enemy of Israel. God is bigger than my family, my church, my tribe, my nation, my world. God is bigger than my opinions, my prejudices, and my theology. God can, and will, use all kinds of people to accomplish God’s will on earth.

It is an amazing experience to open our minds to the fact that God can use anyone, and open our eyes to see the amazing things God is doing. For too long the church has been focused on excluding people. When we recognize that everyone is an agent through whom God may work a miracle, it becomes far more difficult to exclude those who may be different from you or me.

Application:

  • Look for how God is using the people around you (e.g. the strangers, the enemies, the non-Christians).
  • Look for how God is using you to speak to the lives of others.
  • Write a list of people you would never follow; then look for the leadership qualities those people possess.

 Queries:

  • Are there people I would exclude from leadership based on a personal trait or characteristic (e.g. ethnicity, age, gender)?
  • What are my faults? How can God use those faults?
  • Do I allow God to work, or do I try to force God’s hand?

 

Judges 3 – Ehud the Left Handed Judge

But when the sons of Israel cried to the LORD, the LORD raised up a deliverer for them, Ehud the son of Gera, the Benjamite, a left-handed man. And the sons of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab. 16 Ehud made himself a sword which had two edges, a cubit in length, and he bound it on his right thigh under his cloak. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man. 18 It came about when he had finished presenting the tribute, that he sent away the people who had carried the tribute. 19 But he himself turned back from the idols which were at Gilgal, and said, “I have a secret message for you, O king.” And he said, “Keep silence.” And all who attended him left him. 20 Ehud came to him while he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, “I have a message from God for you.” And he arose from his seat. 21 Ehud stretched out his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh and thrust it into his belly. 22 The handle also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not draw the sword out of his belly; and the refuse came out. 23 Then Ehud went out into the vestibule and shut the doors of the roof chamber behind him, and locked them. 24 When he had gone out, his servants came and looked, and behold, the doors of the roof chamber were locked; and they said, “He is only relieving himself in the cool room.” 25 They waited until they became anxious; but behold, he did not open the doors of the roof chamber. Therefore they took the key and opened them, and behold, their master had fallen to the floor dead. 26 Now Ehud escaped while they were delaying, and he passed by the idols and escaped to Seirah. – Judges 3:15-26 (NASB)

When I have led youth groups I tell this story at Halloween; teenage boys love it.

There are some interesting things going on in this story. Ehud is the second judge which God raises up in an effort to bring the Israelites back to God. This is the beginning of the running motif in Judges by which Israel does evil, bad things happen to Israel, Israel cries out to God, God raises up a Judge to deliver Israel, Israel repents, the judge dies, Israel does evil, rinse and repeat.

A secondary motif is that each judge is flawed in someway. Ehud’s flaw is relatively minor, he is left-handed; however, the flaws of the Judges become progressively more severe. Why is left-handedness a flaw? Two reasons. First Ehud fails to live up to his family name as Benjamite means “son of my right [hand]”. The second reason is that the left hand was commonly the “impure” hand as it was commonly used for bodily functions. Really this whole story is layer upon layer of bathroom-humor (which is, again, why teenage boys like it). However, being left-handed was one of the reasons why Ehud was able to smuggle a weapon in to the King’s private room.

My grandmother was left-handed. I heard her tell stories of how, when she was growing up, adults tried to force her to be right handed. They would tie her left hand down and do all kinds of awful things. How many times was Ehud rejected by his family or tribe? How many times was he passed over because he was different or flawed? Yet, God used Ehud’s flaws and differences to deliver Israel from the Moabites.

There are people in your church, your family, and your community that are considered unclean or flawed. They are looked down on and refused positions of leadership or honor. They are rejected, not because they are incapable; but, because they are considered to be unacceptable. They are the outcasts, they are other. God uses the outcasts and the other to deliver his people.

We are very bad at judging other people flaws. Often, a perceived flaw can be a remarkable strength. Ehud’s flaw delivered Israel, and he was only left handed. Imagine what the flaws of the people in your church are capable of delivering.

Application:

  • Create a penalty for when you catch yourself judging people who are different (e.g. a “swear-jar”).
  • Serve a group that is different from you every week for the next year.
  • Create an opportunity for someone who is less privileged than you.

Queries:

  • Who do I consider to be flawed, or “other”? Who do I not want to associate with?
  • How has God used my flaws to deliver the people around me?
  • Does it cause me internal discomfort to think that someone with one of the following labels could be a leader in my church: quadriplegic, veteran, mentally ill, woman, high school dropout, bi-polar, gay, drug addict, alcoholic, ethnic, wealthy, young, old, stutterer, liberal, autistic, conservative?

Judges 2 – The past, the present, and the future

All that generation also were gathered to their fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not know the LORD, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel. 11 Then the sons of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD and served the Baals, 12 and they forsook the LORD, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed themselves down to them; thus they provoked the LORD to anger. 13 So they forsook the LORD and served Baal and the Ashtaroth. 14 The anger of the LORD burned against Israel, and He gave them into the hands of plunderers who plundered them; and He sold them into the hands of their enemies around them, so that they could no longer stand before their enemies. 15 Wherever they went, the hand of the LORD was against them for evil, as the LORD had spoken and as the LORD had sworn to them, so that they were severely distressed. – Judges 2:10-15 (NASB)

Ancient Ugarit Ba’al – 14-12th Centuries BCE

One of the difficulties of leadership is that it requires you to look in three directions all at once.

A leader must look to the past. The past has tremendous lessons to teach and we must learn from those who have gone before us. The past is also full of heroes and champions of the faith on whom we can rest during times of struggle. If every generation was forced to figure everything out for themselves we would never get anywhere; the past is the foundation upon which we build. As leaders we must be students of history and not be so arrogant that we refuse to learn from our mothers and fathers.

A leader must look to the present. A leader must be aware of what is going on in the here and now. What needs must be attended to immediately. Who is hurting? Who is in danger? Who needs to be celebrated? The present is what we are building and creating. The present is influenced by the past, but we can turn the present to anything we choose (both good and bad). If we spend all of our time focused on the past or the future, we will miss the good and bad things going on around us right now. The danger of missing the good is that we may fail to notice a new leader. The danger of missing the bad is that we may allow destructive forces to become enmeshed into our organization.

A leader must look to the future. Where are we going? How do we get there? If we want to build something that will last longer than we will it will take a great deal of planning in the present. Creating a vision and developing a plan to accomplish that vision is necessary. We must also understand human nature and outline how the organization will avoid common pitfalls. Setting concrete plans in place is a task which is commonly ignored by leaders in the church.

Too often churches look to the past and the present, but ignore the future. They fail to set future generations up for success. Then as a generation ages, it wonders why their children have turned away from God. A church must plan for next year, and next decade, and the next generation, and three or four generations after that. When looking to the future there must be a very long view.

In your role as a leader keep your eyes always focused on the past, the present, and the future. It can be tough, but it is absolutely necessary. If any one of these three time periods is neglected, or over-emphasized, it can cause problems in the church for multiple generations to come. Be sure to set a solid foundation for your grandchildren and your grandchildren’s grandchildren. We are all interconnected. We are still recovering from the problems of our ancestors (slavery, patriarchalism, church schisms); to the best of our ability we need to clean up our messes now, and not leave them to our descendents.

Application:

  • Make a list outlining:
    • Your anchors to the past.
    • Your activities in the present.
    • Your vision for the future.

Queries:

  • Who are your heroes? What ancestral baggage are you struggling with?
  • Do you hold the past, present, and future all up in prayer?
  • Which time period do you neglect? Which do you spend too much time thinking about?

Judges 1 – Church leadership

Now it came about after the death of Joshua that the sons of Israel inquired of the LORD, saying, “Who shall go up first for us against the Canaanites, to fight against them?” 2 The LORD said, “Judah shall go up; behold, I have given the land into his hand.” 3 Then Judah said to Simeon his brother, “Come up with me into the territory allotted me, that we may fight against the Canaanites; and I in turn will go with you into the territory allotted you.” So Simeon went with him. – Judges 1:1-3 (NASB)

 

Joshua’s Tomb – 2007

For the first time in over a generation Israel has found itself leaderless. Moses brought the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt and led them as they wandered in the wilderness for forty years. Moses raised up Joshua as the leader who would bring the Israelites to the promised land. However, Joshua did not prepare a successor. Israel has gone from slave, to follower of Moses, to follower of Joshua; but, now there is no one to follow. So the Israelites do the smart thing; they ask God.

God instructs the Israelites to send Judah into the land first to drive the enemy out of the land’s promised to his tribe. Judah asks Simeon to go with him and promises to help Simeon clear his land as soon as Judah’s land is cleared. It is important to note, however, that God does not appoint a new leader to replace Joshua as Joshua had replaced Moses. It seems clear from this, and other passages, that God’s plan was for Israel to have no primary leader except for God. Of course there would be secondary leaders (priests, judges, and tribal chiefs); but, there would be no single human who would rule over all the peoples of Israel, only God.

The book of Judges is the story of how this plan failed. The story of how the Israelite people moved further and further away from God’s ideal and chose to follow their own desires.

It would be good for our churches today to look to the book of Judges as they are developing their organizational structure and selecting leaders. God’s ideal for Israel was that God be the primary leader who worked with a small group of secondary human leaders. These secondary human leaders took on differing roles and responsibilities. Some were accountable for military campaigns; some for religious ceremony; and some for maintaining civil matters. Is it possible that our churches should be structured in a similar manner?

As humans we seem to be drawn to pyramid shaped leadership structures in which one person is the ultimate authority for our organization. This structure is easy to understand and it allows us to put all the blame or praise on the one person at the top. If things are going well we reward that person; if things are going poorly, we find a new person.

As Christians, however, we may be called to develop a church without a single human perched at the top of our structure. I think all Christians would agree that God is our ultimate leader and authority; but, what if there was no single human leader at the top our church structures? What if there was a group of secondary leaders who each took responsibility for a different aspect of the church? Would that be a better way of organizing our church?

Regardless of whether there is a single leader or a group of leaders, whenever a church seeks to replace a leader the most important thing to do is to seek out God’s counsel. Time spent in prayer, seeking guidance, and inquiring about God’s opinion, is never a waste.

This is true whether a church is looking to replace a pastor, an elder, a Sunday school teacher, or a custodian. Every position within the church is a position of leadership and God cares about all leaders. We must always ask God, “Who is it you have prepared for this role?”

A church should never rush the replacement of a leader. A church should only move forward, once they have discerned a clear direction from God.

Application:

  • Pray for the leadership of your church.
  • Ask God to speak to the hearts and minds of the church regarding both the organizational structure, and the people to fit into the structure.
  • Take the time to be a blessing to the leaders in your church.

Queries:

  • What organizational structure is best for your church?
  • Do you take time to pray over who should be called to each leadership position (from custodian to elder)?
  • Is God calling you to a certain leadership role?

40 Ideas for Lent

This was stolen from Rachel Held Evans. The original can be found at her blog at this link.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. When I wake up on Resurrection Sunday morning, how will I be different?
2. Is there a habit or sin in my life that repeatedly gets in the way of loving God with my whole heart or loving my neighbor as myself? How do I address that habit over the next 40 days?
3. Is there anyone in my life from whom I need to ask forgiveness or pursue reconciliation?
4. What practical steps can I take to carve out time for daily contemplation?
5. What spiritual discipline do I need to improve upon or want to try?
6. What are some things in my life that I tell myself I need but I don’t?
7. Why am I giving this particular thing up? How does giving it up draw me closer to God and prepare me for Easter?
8. What am I going to tell myself when self-denial gets hard?
9. Is it necessary/helpful for me to share the nature my fast with others or should I keep it private?
10. What do the ashes mean to me this year?

 

10 Book Recommendations:

1. Common Prayer by Shane Claiborne, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, and Enuma Okoro
2. 40 Days of Living the Jesus Creed by Scot McKnight
3. Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
4. Facing East by Frederica Matthews-Green
5. The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle
6. A Book of Hours by Thomas Merton 
7. A Gift For God: Prayers and Meditations by Mother Teresa
8.  One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
9.  Show Me the Way: Daily Lenten Readings by Henry J.M. Nouwen
10.  A Circle of Quiet Madeleine L’Engle

 

5 Rituals:

1. Attend an Ash Wednesday service at a nearby Catholic, Anglican, or Lutheran church. (Ash Wednesday services are becoming more popular among other protestant and evangelical denominations as well.)
2. Institute a Way of Light wreath or an Easter Tree (I love Ann Voskamp’s photos and ideas for these!)
3. Practice the daily office for 40 days. Common Prayer includes daily prayers.
4. Choose a saint or a Christian you deeply admire to “guide” you through the Lenten period. (Consider St. Francis of Assisi, Mother Teresa, or St. Teresa of Avila). In addition to studying her work and meditating on her prayers, learn about her life. Journal through the experience.
5. Incorporate the color purple into your home, office, and church. A simple purple candle or orchid or note card with a verse can remind you of the season and help keep you focused.

 

5 Fasts:

1. Choose to make water your only beverage for 40 days to help Blood:Water Mission provide clean water for people in Africa who don’t have a choice. Check out Forty Days of Water for more info.
2. Traditionally, Christians abstained from eating meat during Lent, so consider joining millions of fellow Christ-followers around the world in this fast.
3.  Give up eating out for 40 days and donate the money you save to The Christian Women’s Job Corp in Nashville. My sister works full-time for this organization, so I can personally vouch for the fact that the money will be used wisely and lovingly! 
4. Do a 40-day purge of all your excess stuff and donate the best of it to Goodwill or a local thrift store that benefits your neighbors.
5. Unplug—TV, Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, etc. This is perhaps the single best way to carve out some extra time in your day for prayer and meditation.

 

10 Mediations:

1. Psalm 51
2. Psalm 139
3. Isaiah 58
4. The Beattitudes (Matthew 5:3-12)
5. The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13)
6. Litany of Penitence
7. Litany of Humility
8. Prayer of St. Francis
9. Penitential Prayer of St. Augustine
10. Consider reading the Sermon on the Mount (alternating between Matthew’s account and Luke’s account) every day for the next 40 days.

What approach do you take to the season of Lent? What is its purpose in your life? Do you have any additional resources, ideas, or links to share?

Podcasts: What I feed my brain

Following is the list of podcasts I currently listen to each week. The list is broken down into general categories and also notes the normal length of each podcast and how frequently a new episode is released.

  • Creativity & Story
    • News From Lake Wobegon (20m weekly)
    • The Moth Podcast (20m weekly)
    • This American Life (60m weekly)
    • True Story (10m occasional)
    • WNYC’s Radiolab (60m weekly)
    • The Accidental Creative (20m weekly)
    • 99% Invisible (20m weekly)
  • Writing & Books
    • The Writer’s Almanac (5m daily)
    • NYT Book Review-NYT (30m weekly)
    • Grammar Girl (15m weekly)
    • I Should Be Writing (10m weekly)
    • Nerdist Writers Panel (60m weekly)
    • NPR: Books Podcast (30m weekly)
    • Reading and Writing Podcast (10m weekly)
    • The Tolkien Professor (90m semi-weekly)
    • Wordplay: Helping Writers Become Authors (10m weekly)
    • Writing Excuses (15m weekly)
  • Finance & Economics
    • APM: Marketplace (30m weekdays)
    • Freakonomics Radio (30m weekly)
    • The Invisible Hand (60m weekly)
    • Planet Money (25m semi-weekly)
    • WSJ’s Your Money Matters (5m weekdays AM & PM)
  • Business & Leadership
    • Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast (30m monthly)
    • Career Tools (30m weekly)
    • HBR IdeaCast (15m weekly)
    • The Look & Sound of Leadership (15m occasional)
    • Manager Tools (30m weekly)
    • NPR Topics: Business Story of the Day (5m weekdays)
    • This Is Your Life – Michael Hyatt (30m weekly)
  • Sports
    • The Baseball Show with Rany and Joe (60m occasional in-season)
    • FanBall Weekly (15m weekly in-season)
    • NFL Rants & Raves (90m semi-weekly in-season)
    • NPR Columns: Sports with Frank Deford (5m weekly)
  • News & Politics
    • Best of the Left Podcast (70m semi-weekly)
    • The Economist (10m semi-weekly)
    • KCRW’s Le Show – Harry Shearer (60m weekly)
    • New Yorker: The Political Scene (20m weekly)
    • NPR Topics: Story of the Day (5m weekdays)
    • It’s All Politics (20m weekly)
    • Real Time with Bill Maher (75m weekly)
    • Slate’s Political Gabfest (60m weekly)
  • Information
    • Brainstuff (5m semi-weekly)
    • Fresh Air (60m weekdays)
    • NPR: How To Do Everything (20m weekly)
    • Slate’s Culture Gabfest (45m weekly)
    • Talk of the Nation (120m weekdays)
    • TEDTalks video (20m weekdays)
    • TechStuff (40m semi-weekly)
  • Entertainment
    • Good Job, Brain! (50m weekly)
    • Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! (60m weekly)
  • Movies & Music
    • KCRW’s Film Reviews (5m weekly)
    • KCRW’s Today’s Top Tune (5m weekdays)
    • KEXP Song of the Day (5m weekdays)
    • The Current Song of the Day (5m weekdays)
  • Health & Fitness
    • Fit Girl (15m weekly)
    • The Nutrition Diva (15m weekly)
  • Homesteading
    • BubbaTanicals Podcast (60m irregular)
    • Save Our Skills (60m irregular)
    • You Bet Your Garden (60m weekly)
  • Sermons & Religion
    • Mosaic (40m weekly)
    • North Point Community Church (40m weekly)
    • NPR Topics: Religion Podcast (30m weekly)
    • The Phil Vischer Podcast (50m weekly)
    • Relevant Podcast (70m weekly)
    • Woodland Hill’s Church (50m weekly)

Do you listen to any of these? Is there anything else I should be listening to?

Podcasts: Feed your brain

I listen to somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 hours of podcasts each week. Why? Because I like to fill my mind with a variety of ideas, opinions, facts, and dreams. How do I fit in 60 hours worth of listening? Showering, working out, loading the dishwasher, getting dressed; these are all mindless activities that are perfect for filling your mind with podcasts. I also listen to most of my podcasts at double speed; so it only takes 30 hours to listen to a weeks worth of podcasts.

I do have a rule that I have to zero out my podcasts on Sundays, so if I did not get around to listening to something, it gets deleted. I also regularly weed out inactive podcasts or podcasts that are no longer useful to me.

I would encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity that modern technology provides to listen to such amazing content for free. Apple’s iTunes makes finding and listening to podcasts incredibly simple; I’m sure there are other programs out there as well. On Wednesday I will post a list of the podcasts I currently listen to.

What do you do to feed your brain?

Nike: a case study in change and management

Once upon a time (okay, it was the early 1960s), in a medium-sized college town in Oregon, two men started a shoe company in their garage. This shoe company was focused on developing quality athletic shoes, using relatively inexpensive Japanese labor and materials, which could rival the German shoe giants Adidas and Puma. This small shoe company, eventual renamed Nike, had a simple two word mission: “Crush Adidas” (Collins & Porras, 1996). This was an ostentatious mission as Adidas was an international brand with huge factories which had been doing business for nearly fifty years; Nike was an upstart in a garage. Yet, within 20 years, Nike had indeed crushed Adidas to become the top firm in their industry.

Once dominance had been achieved, Nike’s desire to “Crush Adidas” was no longer a compelling vision. Nike failed to create a new mission to enable the firm to remain at the top of their industry. Due to this, and other failures, a smaller British firm, Reebok, was able to pass Nike as the top athletic footwear firm in the early 1980s. Nike returned to their original mission, revising it to “Crush Reebok”. Through this focus, Nike was again able to become the dominant firm in the athletic footwear industry by the 1990s. In an effort to avoid another relapse, Nike pursued a new vision, which did not focus on beating their opponent, but rather on becoming the best they could be for their customers.

Mission

The current mission of Nike is “To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete* in the world.” Nike then supplements this statement by clarifying the term athlete with a quote from Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman, who stated, “If you have a body, you are an athlete.” (Nike’s Mission Statement, n.d.)

Marx and the fall of capitalism

I wrote this paper on Marx’s view on the fall of capitalism as an economics major back in 2001. It holds up fairly well for an undergrad paper.

***

The fall of capitalism was a very important subject to Karl Marx.  The majority of his massive work Das Kapital (2200 of 2400 pages) was devoted, not to communism, but to why capitalism will fail.  Throughout this work Marx spells out, in excruciating detail, the roadmap to the fall of capitalism.  The fall of capitalism is caused by three features that are inherent to a capitalist society, these features being surplus, accumulation and exploitation.

Marx wrote The Communist Manifesto in the year 1848.  This short work called for the working classes of the world to unite and fight the current capitalist regime.  A regime that Marx saw as being content to encourage struggle between the classes.  Marx wanted a society with little or not conflict between classes; in fact Marx wanted a classless society.  However, while Marx argued for a move toward communism he did not fully explain what his view of communism was until 1867 with the publication of Das Kapital.

Many economists believe that Das Kapital was the first major challenge to the classical paradigm.  Others, however, believe it to be a work in agreement with the classical paradigm in everything but its conclusions.  In other words some believe Marx to be a classical economist who merely saw the world differently.  Regardless, Marx does accept the classical construct as set up by Adam Smith, but Marx rejects Smith’s outcomes.

Marx saw the Capitalist world as a world of two classes: the bourgeoisie (owners of the mode of production) and the proletariat (the workers).  Marx argued that as long as the proletariat had only two choices, either work or starve, they were essentially slaves to the bourgeoisie.

Surplus Value is created by the bourgeois purchase of commodities (largely labor) to produce and sell a product.  The sale yields the capitalist Revenue and the Revenue minus the Price of the commodity is the Surplus Value (SV=R-P).  This Surplus Value goes to the capitalist and is used for accumulation not consumption.  This Surplus Value is created by Capitalists hiring workers at their Exchange Value (normally the subsistence level) and then working the laborer longer than is necessary to pay for the Exchange Value.  For example Dale hires Mary to make pizzas ten hours a day.  Dale makes $10 an hour off of Mary’s labor.  Mary’s subsistence level requires $60 a day so Dale pays her $6 an hour.  The first 6 hours were the necessary labor to cover the Price of Mary making the pizzas.  The remaining 4 hours are the Surplus Labor.

A capitalist goal is always to increase the Rate of Surplus. The Rate of Surplus can be found by the formula S’=S/V where S is the Surplus Value and V is the variable capital.  This formula depends upon three outside factors.  First the length of the workday, after a certain point an increase in hours does not increase production. Second, the Rate of Surplus depends on the productivity of labor.  And finally the tendency for the wages paid to always be approaching the subsistence level.  Also, competition within and between industries will have a tendency to equalize Surplus Value across industries.

Associated with the Rate of Surplus is the Rate of Profit.  The formula for the Rate of Profit is S”=S/(C+V) where C is the portion of capital unable to create Surplus Value, known as Constant Capital.

In reality some capitalists will get more surplus Value than others, this is determined by the Organic Composition of Capital.  The formula for the Organic Composition of Capital is K=C/(C+V).  To modern economists this formula determines the capital intensity of an industry.  As K increases there is a tendency for S to decrease.  The Rate of Profit S”=S/(C+V) depends on the Rate of Surplus Value (S) and the Organic composition of Capital (K).

The fundamental flaw in capitalism is that there will always be periodic recessions.  As a society the United States has learned to accept this because we have adopted several communist ideas including the idea of unemployment benefits.

Marx’ view of the future is one of a post-capitalist society.  Marx believed that time is comprised of periods (primitive, feudalism, mercantilism, capitalism, and socialism) without passing through each of these periods a society cannot advance to the next period.  Marx believed the Socialism would blossom out of Capitalism once Capitalism had created a sufficient abundance of capital.  This abundance of Capital removes the scarcity of Capital allowing a Socialist society to form.  Eventually, this Socialist society will change the people to such an extent that formal government will become superfluous and wither away.  Marx would have argued that the Soviet Union’s effort to form a Communist state would fail because they attempted to jump from feudalism to socialism without the necessary steps in between.  The only argument that can be made against this theory of Marx is that there will never be a large enough abundance of capital.

As nations become wealthier they accumulate more, as they accumulate more they become more mechanized.  Mechanization does not increase value because machines only pass their value along to the product produced. If you buy a machine for $100 and it produces 50 items than each item has $2 of the machines value.  Labor creates value and thus more accumulation, which causes more mechanization, which causes less labor, therefore profits decline as accumulation increases.  It is therefore unprofitable to accumulate but accumulation is necessary in order to remain competitive.  Capitalists in order to not lose profit will extend the workday (to a point) and make workers more productive but they cannot drive down wages because wages are already at the subsistence level.        When profit margin equals zero then no one will invest.  Marx says that the only way to wind up where profits are 0 is to get to a point where capital is no longer scarce.

Throughout the history of the United States profits have been continuously going down (approaching zero) therefore Marx would say that the United States is approaching Socialism.

The roadmap to the fall of capitalism as described by Marx is a direct result of surplus, accumulation and exploitation.  As these three factors work together enough capital is accumulated to no longer make it scarce therefore people no longer horde it and we move to a society were accumulation is not the primary goal; this society is the one Marx titled Communism.

A/V Project: Live Forever in a Black Parade

A while back I was listening to “Welcome to the Black Parade by Panic at the Disco and realized there were some thematic and musical similarities to Queen’s “Who Wants to Live Forever. The idea of making a mash-up of the two songs got stuck in my brain, so I sat down one night and did it. It has a couple rough spots because this type of audio project is outside of my norm; but, it came out fairly well. The audio is posted below.

 

Play

Writing Excerpt: What Almost Could Have Been

 This is an excerpt from a novel I wrote a while back. The novel, titled What Almost Could Have Been, takes place in the 1990s and is (very) loosely based on experiences from high school. This excerpt is part of a chapter in which the main character and his friends are on spring break choir trip to New York. It should be noted that the views expressed by the first-person character below are not necessarily my own views. Rather, they are the views of an adolescent male still trying to make sense of life.

***

We went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and then saw The Lion King on Broadway.  About 10pm we piled into the buses. We got to our hotel a half hour later.

Tom, Frank and I were sharing a room with two queen beds.  Everyone else had a fourth roommate but we were the odd group.  Neither Frank nor I wanted to sleep with Tom so he slept alone.  We threw our stuff on the beds and went to find the girls’ rooms.  They were just down the hall next to each other.  Loran, Jen, Nicole, and a girl named Melissa were in one room.  Libby, Misty, and two other seniors were in the other room.  There was a connecting door between rooms which the girls had opened.  I plopped down between Loran and Nicole on one bed.

“Hey, who said you could get into my bed,” Nicole asked.

“You can’t tell me it’s not something you’ve always dreamed of,” I responded.

“Maybe in my nightmares,” Loran answered.

“I’m calling double negative on that statement and ignoring it,” Nicole responded.

“Touché,” I said.

“So why are you guys here?” Jen asked us.

“We were bored,” Tom answered.

“Well, we’re getting ready for bed,” Melissa said.

“Don’t mind us,” I said.

“We won’t,” Loran responded.

I leaned back into the bed and spread out.  “It feels so good to lie down and stretch my legs.

“Tell me about it,” Nicole said.

Libby came out of a steaming bathroom in her robe.

“Next,” she called.

Loran jumped off the bed, “My turn.”  She grabbed her clothes and entered the bathroom.  I noticed the click of the lock just after she shut the door.

Libby sat down next to me and started putting lotion on her legs.  Frank and Tom were chatting with Jen and Melissa and the two other girls in the other room.  Misty was painting her nails in the corner.  Nicole rolled toward me on the bed.

“Do you think Derek and I will work out?” Nicole asked referring to her current boyfriend.

“What do you mean by work out?” I asked, unsure where this conversation was going.

“As a couple,” she clarified.

“How should I know?” I asked.

Nicole was quite for a minute.  “I think he’s cheating on me,” she said.  I felt Libby flinch on my other side.

“He wouldn’t do that,” I lied.

“I found porn in his car,” Nicole said.

“I’m so sorry,” Libby said as Nicole’s eyes got watery.  The chatter from the other room quieted as everyone started listening.

“It’s not that big a deal,” I said.

“Why would he want to look at that stuff if I was making him happy?” Nicole asked.

The group from the other room was watching intently.

“How long have you guys been together?” I asked.

“Two and a half years,” Nicole answered.

“Exactly,” I said, “a long time.”

“Our relationship should be past this point,” Nicole said.

“You’re absolutely right,” Libby affirmed.

“It has nothing to do with you,” I said.

“How can you say that?”  Nicole asked.

“It’s totally a guy thing.  You know.  After you’ve been dating for a while it’s nice to look at different landscapes.”

The words tumbled out of my mouth and into a silent room.  It was as if time stood still.  Misty stopped in mid motion holding the nail polish inches from her fingertip without applying. The four female heads were staring at me through the doorway to the other room.  Libby’s mouth flopped open in exasperation.  It was so quiet I could hear Loran singing in the shower.

“What?” I asked defensively.  My words acted as the catalyst that unleashed the floodwaters.  All seven girls started talking at me at once with different levels of outrage in their voices.  I could not understand any of them.  I saw Frank and Tom sneak out the door.  I pointed and yelled, “Ask them!” But my two male friends were already running down the hall to our room.

“That’s all we are, landscapes?”

“What an arrogant, chauvinistic thing to say!”

“From a guy who doesn’t even have a girlfriend.”

“Maybe that explains why.”

“Is that how you treat girls?”

“Men are pigs.”

Suddenly a loud voice echoed through the room.

“Curfew!”  It was the vice-principal.  “Eleven O’clock; go to bed.  Lights out in ten minutes.”

He walked down the hall and yelled into the next room.  In the momentary silence I stood and faced the pack of girls looking at each one in turn.

“You are absolutely right,” I said.  “That is a terrible attitude and one to which I, personally, do not subscribe.  I was merely trying to defend the indefensible and I apologize.”

When I got back to my room Tom and Frank quickly opened the door and pushed me inside.

“We were afraid they were behind you,” Tom said breathlessly.

“How did you get away?” Frank asked.

“I lied.”

***

Wednesday morning we toured Rockefeller Center. We went inside the shop for the Natural History Museum. I bought a tie based on a Persian print.  At the checkout Nicole balked.

“Why would you spend $70 on a tie?” she asked.

“It’s a nice tie,” I defended.

“It’s $70.” she said.  I just stood there and completed my purchase.  “You’re an idiot,” Nicole said.

We stepped outside and turned the corner.  I stopped short, my mouth dropped open; I stood in awe.  In front of us was St. Patrick’s cathedral.  It was the most meaningful building I had ever seen.  Just looking at it you could tell that this was a place meant for God.

“Let’s go in there,” I said.

“Wait,” Libby said as she yanked on my shirt keeping me from stepping out in front of the passing traffic.  “Let’s wait for the traffic to stop.”

We went to the corner and waited for the light to change.  As we crossed the street I could not take my eyes off of the church spires which reached up into the heavens.

We climbed the steps and passed under the arched doorway.  A bowl of water was in front of us and to our left.  Loran, our only Catholic, dipped her fingers in the water and crossed herself.  I followed suit.  Nicole started whispering to Jen and the slight sound of her voice bounced and echoed against the stone walls amplifying exponentially.  Loran quickly turned with her finger to her lips and darted a warning glance at Nicole.  Ahead of us a priest was leading mass.  I followed Loran into the back row of pews and knelt next to her.  For the next twenty minutes I watched her kneel and stand and pray and respond.  I followed her lead to the best of my ability while our fellow interlopers sat next to us, bored.

At the end of the mass Loran stood and joined the communion line.  I followed along and lined up behind her.

“You can’t come; you’re not Catholic,” Loran whispered.

“Nobody knows that,” I answered.

“You have to be Catholic to take communion,” she said quietly yet emphatically.

“Today, I am Catholic,” I answered.  She looked at me.

“Do what I do,” she whispered through gritted teeth.

I watched each of the people as they went forward and the priest placed a wafer on their tongue.  The assistant then gave each person a sip from a chalice.  My heart beat faster as Loran and I moved toward the priest.  I watched Loran kneel before him and accept the wafer.  She stood and moved to the chalice.  I do not remember kneeling but I remember looking up at the priest as he placed the eulogia in my mouth.  I was amazed by the brilliant blue light streaming through the stained glass over his shoulder.  Somehow I moved and was given a sip from the cup.  Suddenly the historical weight and meaning of this ritual struck me and I found it hard to breathe.  I stood and walked back up the aisle.  God loved me.  I hastily wiped my face with my sleeve and followed Loran back to our pew.  I stopped at one of the side altars and lit a candle.

“Why did you light a candle?” Loran asked a few minutes later as we walked back down the front steps.

“I was offering up a prayer,” I said.

“What about?”

“I was thanking God for the experience.”

Preparing for Syruping Season

The recent warm spell has me kind of worried. A little warm weather is not a common fear for most Iowans in January; but I’m worried about my sap.

Jen and I moved to this house a little over a year ago. One of the big reasons I fell in love with the place was the grove of maple trees in our backyard. In roughly a quarter acre of space there are just over two dozen maple trees. Last year, half of those trees were big enough to be tapped for maple syrup. These year, we’ve got a few more coming on line. That’s not a huge number of trees, but it’s enough to make three or four gallons of maple syrup; about a year’s supply.

Which is why this weather is so frustrating. Maple sap begins to flow when the days are consistently above forty degrees and the nights are consistently below thirty. We have now had two sets of three days with these temperatures in the last two weeks. I’m concerned that the maple sap is going to start flowing before I’m ready to tap at the end of the month.

That’s the major drawback of working with nature; you’re never in control. You are always tossed about by the whims of weather and the wild. But that’s also why working with nature is fun. There is always an opportunity to solve a new problem, there is always a new challenge to overcome.

I may whine a little about the nice weather to my co-workers. I may complain that it’s hurting my sap. But really, that’s part of the fun.

If you have a few maple trees in your yard it’s not too late to plan to tap them. A good tree will produce a gallon of sap a day. Forty gallons of sap boils down to one gallon of syrup (give or take). And then you can enjoy the fruits of your labor for the rest of the year.

Sickness: a poem

I wrote the first draft of this a few years ago when I was recovering from the flu.

***

Waves of nausea pounding through my stomach
Bile splashes onto the back of my tongue
Dear God, please, please, no, no, no
The sour orange juice pours backward out of my mouth
I heave again and again
My stomach shrieks in pain
My jaw is being pushed into my brain
I spit
And breath
Really? Really? Do we have to do this again?
The stomach acid hurts my teeth
I clean myself and wait for the next round.
Water washes my hands, and my face.
But I dare not drink.
It will not stay down.
I long for a drop to quench my thirst
But parched anguish is better than the
Waves of nausea pounding through my stomach…

Out of Control: How Firms Face Pressures and Struggle With Change

Below is a paper I wrote for my Organizational Change class. I really should have edited it; but there is only so much time in life. Please forgive any errors. Feel free to comment or critique.

***

There is one characteristic that all organizations share. It does not matter if that organization is Wal-Mart, Apple, the mom-and-pop shop down the street, or the United States Government; they are all alike in at least one way: none of them are in control. No matter how large, how powerful, how well organized, or how self-sufficient an organization may be, it is continuously pushed and pulled by forces outside of its control. These forces come from both inside and outside the organization and the organization will respond, in some way, to each and every one of them.

There are a number of external, or environmental, pressures to which an organization must respond; Palmer (2009) lists six which will be briefly reviewed. The first is fashion pressure. This is the pressure an organization feels the need to follow a recent trend in management style or in its industry. This pressure is akin to peer pressure on a corporate level. The second is mandated pressure. This is the pressure an organization experiences when a court, regulator, or legislature orders it to act in a certain way. The third is geopolitical pressure. This is the pressure an organization is under when there is a sudden change in the relationship that exists between different countries in which the organization does business. It may also be the pressure an organization feels when there is a sudden change in the country in which the organization is established. The fourth is market decline pressure. This pressure occurs when there is a change in consumer demand for a product. The fifth is hyper-competition. This pressure exists when there is a glut of firms supplying a product or service to the market. The final external pressure is reputation and credibility pressure. This pressure exists when there begins to be a public perception that the firm is acting unethically or is supplying an inferior product or service.

Not all pressures are external to a company. There are also a number of internal pressures a company must contend with. Palmer (2009) lists five such internal pressures which will be briefly reviewed. The first internal pressure is growth. As a company ages and matures from a start-up to an established business it will experience pressures related to its increased size and internal complexities. The second internal pressure is integration and collaboration. This pressure is related to reducing redundancy and creating economies of scale within the company. The third internal pressure is identity. This pressure is related to having a corporate identify. It is important for employees to understand what their company is and what their company stands for. The fourth internal pressure is something Palmer calls the new broom phenomenon. This pressure occurs when a new leader enters an organization and is tasked with reorienting the organization in some way. The final internal pressure listed here is power and political pressure. This pressure is related to the internal power arrangements of the individuals within the organization.

As an organization faces each of these pressures it will respond in one of four different ways.

Enjoy Where You Are

News From Lake Wobegon – January 3, 2009

This is one of my favorite News From Lake Wobegon stories from Garrison Keillor. It reminds me that when I look around and realize that I am not where I intended to be, I should focus on enjoying where I am, rather than freaking out and trying to fix the situation.

It’s okay to plan where you want to be; but when you don’t get there, enjoy where you are.

Writing Excerpt: The Blood of Angels

KANSAS WHEAT 03

I am working on a story tentatively called The Blood of Angels. In a nutshell, it’s about a girl, named El, who dies and then becomes embroiled in a war between angels. Below is the section just after she dies. Feel free to comment and critique.

***

El kept her eyes shut tight. Even through her eyelids she could sense the bright light that surrounded her. She did not want to open her eyes. If she opened them it would all be real and she did not want to face reality. El heard a buzzing by her ear. She reached up to swat it away. Some bothersome insect she thought. The buzzing moved a little further away. The buzz slowed. El could hear the individual flap of wings now:

Bzzzzzssssssstttttthhhhhhfpfpfpthfpthfpthfpthwpthwp thwap thwap thawp

El opened her eyes and was  blinded in the whiteness of the light that surrounded her. It was like walking through a blizzard. The light stung her eyes and sent searing bolts of pain into her brain. The sound of wings was still there. Now it was a rhythmic beating. The sound of the heart in her mother’s chest, the sound of a train starting its long journey, the sound of an angel descending to the earth. Then the sound stopped.

“How are you doing?”

El squinted her eyes, desperately trying to see past the brightness. She thought she saw a shape; but she was not sure. The image was washed out and spears of light crept around the sides of the form.

“How are you?”

El said nothing.

“Do you trust me?” El dropped to the ground and wrapped her arms around her knees. Slowly she began to rock back and forth.

“Where’s my mom?” She asked in a whisper.

“Safe,” the voice said. “Do you trust me?”

El looked up at the shifting shape. Her heart was filled with a sense of loss and bewilderment. There was no fear.

She nodded, “I do.”

“Then stand up.”

El saw parts of the shape approach and before she could react she was in the dark. She felt the warmth of flesh pressed against her head, covering her eyes. She felt something reaching between her eyelids. El threw her head back but the shape held her unflinchingly. She tried to struggle, tried to break free, but she could not move. Her eye went dark. She blinked and her other eye was forced open.

“He’s blinding me,” El thought. “The pain will start in a minute.”

For a moment both eyes were open, one blinded by darkness the other blinded by light. Then her second eye went dark. There was no pain; only relief to no longer be subjected to the piercing brightness of the light. El felt fingers pressing against her head, gently rubbing. A hand covered her face and El felt a two points of painless pressure where her eyes had been. The hand left her face and she gasped as the world around her was revealed.

“Do you trust me?” The angel patiently asked.

“Yes,” El whispered.

El saw a prairie stretching out before her. It was a gently rolling grassland like she had seen so many times on the long drive to her grandmother’s house. She saw butterflies dancing across the tops of the grass and an eagle circling in the distance. The grassland went far past the horizon and our of her view. A bison bellowed to his mate and she watched the herd standing off to her right slowly chew their mid-day cud.

El heard a creek trickling behind her and turned to see that she was standing on the border of a forest. But this forest was different. The lighting was all wrong. There were no dark places or frightening edges. The trees themselves seemed to be illuminated so that a light from below bounced off of the underside of the canopy. Entering that would be like entering a lighted garden at night.

El examined the grass more closely and realized that it also seemed to be glowing from within. What she had first taken to be daylight was the light produced by a trillion blades of grass. El looked up into the dazzling blue sky. She whirled around two then three times. Searching.

“Where am I?” She asked as she spun.

“Where you are.”

“Where’s the sun?” She asked.

“There is no sun here.”

“They why is there light?”

“You can see for yourself that everything here is reflecting light; everything but you.”

El looked down at her hands which looked oddly dull and muted. Her red dress was a dark gray. The specks of brown dirt on her hands were pitch black.

“Where am I?” she asked again.

“In heaven.”

“So I’m dead then. Is my family alright?”

“They are still alive.”

“What happened?”

“There was a gas explosion in the kitchen of the restaurant. You were thrown across the room and against a wall.”

“Was anyone else hurt?”

“Yes,” the angel motioned down to the creek. For the first time El saw that there was another young girl speaking to an angel. The girl and El looked at one another for an instant and then looked past each other. Beyond the young girl was another angel holding a small infant and speaking to it.

“Why is that baby here?”

“A baby can die.”

El now spun around again; this time seeing all of the other conversations going on around her in this place. The angels all looked similar; but the people all looked different. Different colors, different clothes, different languages. But one thing was the same. “There are only children here.”

“Adults go elsewhere to wait. You and those like you are brought here to be blessed and to be a blessing.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will see.”

“When?”

“Soon; let’s go.”

The angel led El across the stream which seemed to sparkle and release light at every splash and gurgle. They entered the forest.

“What happened earlier? Why couldn’t I see?” El asked as they walked.

“You needed new eyes. The eyes from your world are not right for this world. They were not able to see the reflection of God in everything that exists here.”

“Cool, so you upgraded my eyes.”

“No, these eyes are just different. They’re new.”

“Are there any other parts of me that need to be made new?” El asked with trepidation.

“Yes.”

“Which ones?”

“All of you, eventually.” They continued on in silence, then the angel said, “You were made for your world. In a little while you will be made anew for this world. Then, at the end of creation, you will be made anew for eternity.

“That seems like a lot of work,” El mused.

“It is.”

Sonnet for a temple in winter

a mountain temple in eastern Gangwon Province, South Korea

The falling snow lands soft on sacred ground,

whiting out the world; hiding all decay.

A ginkgo tree in winter’s cloak stands proud,

living here and now; centered in this day.

 

While crimson clad confessors kneel in prayer;

on thee, oneness of light and life, calling;

a lotus blossom placed on snow, to bear

the gaze of man, the place for god’s resting.

 

Stretched over heaven, sheets of grey striped cloud;

a square pagoda spears the sacred sky.

Snow covers all, dank earth’s burial shroud,

distorting sense of who, and when, and why.

 

Shishi odoshi pours out streams of time.

Drips away the yours; drips away the mine.

Re: “If I Die”

Jen was not quite sure what to do when I sent her the email with the subject line “If I Die”. She later told me that she dreaded opening the attached file; but she did.

No one likes to think about death. We especially do not want to think about the untimely death of our spouse or significant other. However, people do die unexpectedly; and I had recognized that there was no guarantee that I would not be one of those people.

I had meant to write the file for at least year. What finally forced me to do it was a trio of deaths; two of which were quite untimely. A high school classmate of mine drowned at his young daughter’s birthday party, a former co-worker collapsed and died while shopping with his wife and children in Walmart, and my great-uncle died after a living a long and relatively happy life.

Would Jen know how to get access to the various benefits available to her if I died? Maybe. But by writing it all out I could be sure.

In our marriage, I am responsible for making sure we have money to do the things we need and want to do. I know where the bank accounts are, where the credit cards are, where the retirement accounts are, and where the life insurance is. I am the one who keeps track of student loans, mortgages, car payments, budgets, and long term plans. Jen is perfectly capable of doing those things, but that’s not how we divided up the labor in our marriage.

So in my “If I Die” file I wrote out all the things I thought Jen needed to know. This included:

  • Employer based life insurance benefits and the HR person to contact
  • My 401k and IRA accounts
  • Potential Social Security benefits and how to access those
  • All external assets (bank accounts, brokerage accounts)
  • All external liabilities (loans, mortgages, credit cards)
  • Usernames and passwords (partially redacted) for all accounts

Since I do the budget, I also wrote out a plan of how to pay for my funeral related expenses, pay off the mortgage and setup a workable budget using only social security and insurance income (it would not be a luxurious existence, but she and the kids would have all they needed).

What would your spouse/family/significant other need to know if you died? You have the opportunity to tell them, and it is important to tell them while you still have that opportunity.

My wife was inspired to write out her own “If I Die” file in which she is telling me all the important things I do not usually pay attention to. She spends a lot more time taking care of the kids. If she were gone I would need to know what foods Sam hates, what toothpaste they refuse to use, where the winter clothes are stored, and a whole lot of other things. It may not seem like much, but if she were gone, there is no more precious gift she could leave behind.

Take the time to write your spouse or significant other a letter telling them all those things they will need to know if you were gone. Hopefully they will never need it; but if they do it will be a treasure.

I’m Back! (and bloggier than ever)

I'm Back!

I have taken the last 18 months off from blogging. The original intent was to combine my and my wife’s blog to focus on the homesteading type activities we were engaging in at our new home.

That didn’t work out (the blogging that is, the homesteading has been great).

So I decided that for the new year I would return to blogging. I’ve spent the last couple days dusting off the old blog, cleaning out the old, and sprucing it up a bit. I still have some stuff to clean up, but I’ll get there.

I am doing this mostly for me, as I do not anticipate crowds of people reading this blog. I have found that blogging through the Bible has forced me to think through passages on a consistent basis and I enjoyed that. I am hoping that I will be able to focus on other areas of life as well in this blog.

My goal for this blog is to do the following:

  • Continue writing my thoughts on each chapter of the Bible
  • Work through drafts of my various works of fiction, non-fiction, and poetry
  • Review books, music, and art on a regular basis
  • Talk about life on the homestead
  • Comment on the world around me

We will see how it goes. I have found that having the blog keeps me accountable in actually getting these things done.

My original goal was to have something up every day. Eventually, I would like to get back to that schedule. For right now, I am shooting for three blog posts a week. I hope you will join in, interact with me, and help me get better

Have fun,
Matt